Ten problems with Transformers 2

unhappy transformer

I watched the movie yesterday with Goy, and I left the cinema feeling really disappointed no matter how I tried to enjoy the movie from different perspectives – as a movie fan, as a Transformers fan, as a visual literacy fan, and as a computer graphics fan. It flunked on nearly all aspects and the show was watchable, but still no fun to watch.

Here are ten issues plaguing the show, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

1. Overly complex CGI means less screen time for Transformers to be themselves. For a movie that cost USD200m, the Transformers hardly say very much, especially the Autobots. The Decepticons seem to be doing all the talking and they don’t say very much either.

2. The humans talk too much. The Twins talk alot of crap too, but it’s hard to catch what they’re saying.

3. Soundwave – oh for goodness sake, he doesn’t even play an MP3 file! There’s Rampage, but where’s Laserbeak?

4. Who’s fighting who? When you watch RoboPorn, you want to see who’s connecting to who. Thanks to the ridiculously complex CGI, every robot looks like a messy blur when they start punching. The final fight scene – I gave up trying to see what was happening.

5. Why are the Autobots so brutal? They seem so happy to wipe out the Decepticons. This is a massive hangover from the George Bush era when being good = evil.

6. The relationship between Megatron and Starscream is once again, poorly fleshed out. In G1 cartoons, Megatron was always dependent on Starscream to wield him as a powerful pistol (oxymoronic, yes). Here, Megatron turns into a tank (which you hardly get to see…and even a flying jet, which I barely noticed), and he doesn’t really need Starscream save the latter being a punching bag.

7. The Fallen is a weezer. For a guy who could wave a big stick and throw enemies around with levitating powers, why didn’t he conquer Earth in the 14th century and enslave them to find the hidden machine?

8. Jetfire – Movie doesn’t explain how he went into hibernation mode as a frigging Blackbird. The humans talked so fast in this segment, it was hard for even me to understand what was going on (the search for Legendary Transformers).

9. Too many random weapons. WTF is a rail gun doing in the movie? Can they explain to normal laymen what’s an EMP?

10. At some point, didn’t you feel like you were watching Indiana Jones and Raiders of the Lost Robots?

24 Replies to “Ten problems with Transformers 2”

  1. I agree with points 1 and 2. I guess you really need to know more and be more perceptive to enjoy the movie. Out of the top 10, 5 of your points are actually shown or deduced in watching the movie. And since Part 1, it is known they have deviated from the cartoon norm and Soundwave has taken a different role and upgraded like Megatron to fit storyline and the present time.

  2. Hi Len, I hope you’re not implying I’m not perceptive 😀

    Being a geek and long-time Transformers fan since it was first introduced, I understood the whole movie from top to bottom and that’s why the movie failed to entertain me.

    It’s written by fanboys who don’t understand what makes a great movie, and directed by a man who doesn’t care for plot holes or engaging the audience using something apart from explosions or violence.

    I love brainless popcorn movies (ever seen Lair of The White Worm?) but this movie was simply grating on the senses. It doesn’t care if you love Transformers, Megan Fox or even Shia, it only loves itself.

  3. I’ve yet to watch the movie myself, but now that I hear the grating reviews from both peers that I know of, and yourself, I’m saved the $7 of buying the ticket.

    I’ve always been wary of sequels of all of our popular franchises: it took another re-imagination of The Incredible Hulk to make it good. I find the X-Men trilogy a bit too pandering, now that Wolverine took centrestage, I suspect he’s there more for the fanboy faps and fangirl fawning.

    Now I hear that G.I. Joe’s going to be made a live-action movie.

    Milking off the fanbase: I gave up, now I shall take up marathon-running instead.

  4. okay in this movie as in the t.v series Megatron when fused with the other Decepticon is to be know as Galvatron but the movie makers thought this would be too confusing for the viewers.
    I think that everyone would be able to follow that simple name change.
    the graphics for me were too hazy in some places like the fight between Optimus Prime, Megatron (Galvatron)and the Fallen.
    And what was with all the sexual jokes, okay here we have a Decepticon created out of joined others that can tear apart a pyramid and they go and make a joke about the sector seven dude being situated under his (testicles)
    there are countless problems and i think that it falls short of the first movie. which saddens me.

    I vote for a re-shot

  5. and now there is talk of introduing the dinobots in the next movie.
    they should slow it down, they barely introduced any of the new characters in this movie

  6. Besides all of the above, the bit that really annoyed me was when they’re getting Jetfire from the Smithsonian (Washington D.C.) he busts through the door and is suddenly in that aircraft graveyard in Arizona. WTF?

  7. re pt 7:
    didn’t the other primes spank the fallen’s ass then thus resulting in our survival till today?

    re pt 9:
    EMPs aren’t really new to sci-fi movies are they? didn’t watch star trek but don’t think they explained their warp drives, photon cannons and transporters (of which the last one is the uber classic, molecular dis & re-assembly)

  8. I watched the Transformers cartoon version during my childhood days. It is nice to know that good computer graphics brought the Transformers back again. I wish to see more of the Dinobots in action perhaps on another sequel.

  9. How come The ending was over so quick? The Fallen was suppose to be a tuffer match than Megatron. How then did O-Prime defeat Megatron & kill The Fallen with like it was nothing? Prime could barely keep up with Megatron in the first movie.

  10. I agree, it was meant to be “revenge of the fallen”. Where was the ultimate wrath that was meant to be inflicted on the autobots?
    I mean Optimus Prime Killed more humans in that scene where he goes toe to toe with Demolisher than any Decepticon Kills in the whole movie!

    Sure i love the Autobots but their victory wouldve been so much more beautiful if the odds were stacked against them.

    I dont think the movie played out that well that made it look like they were losing at all

  11. Re: Pt. no. 9

    Random weapons?? Are you aware that there are quantum mechanical alien robots from a planet called Cybertron at all? And you wonder “wtf a rail gun is doing in the movie.” Obviously anything is possible…

  12. shut up all of you this was the best movie in the world i like it soo much ive watched in HD 36 time and i still like it

  13. I have nothing really bad to say about the movie b/c I was expecting an action free-for-all. I am a fan of TF’s but was disappointed with the blurring, quick camera cuts, and flashes during transformation and battles. It seems like they got cheap on the CGI, or are they worried that someone will slow the DVD down and try to build their own transformer at home! I went into the movie hoping to see either, dinobots, constructicons. I got a bit excited when they searched for ancient autobots, but was equally satisfied with the appearance of Devastator. I expect the aerialbots to appear in subsequent movies (maybe with the upgrade-concept intorduced between Optimus and Jetfire). I also think the insecticons are coming (remember the outer space location that resembled a hive?). I wasn’t too concerned with the plot as I was more interested in watching a nostalgia-laden visual spectacle. I did see a few technical problems though that maybe someone could opine on:
    1) The outer space base that Megatron flew to took no time at all, however it looked to be out near Saturn(which is at least 746 million miles away)
    2) If they can resurrect OP, why can’t they fix BB’s voice? I know it helps the plot, but over two years from the 1st movie and no repair…
    3) If the matrix has to be earned by Sam, how could it have been so easily ripped from OP’s chest? The decpticons didn’t earn it?

    Oh well, like I said… nostaglia-laden visual spectacle with a lot of boom boom.

  14. An EMP is a shockwave that wipes out electronics i a large radius. Its completely fries electronics to the point that they don’t work.

  15. A lot of people complained about not being able to follow along, but my friends and I had no problem. Also, small note, you incorrectly used ‘oxymoronic’.

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