SAF goes Guano Green

I wasn’t really interested in the fact that we would soon be issued new SAF uniforms until I opened my copy of Pioneer this morning (yes, I’ve been too lazy to unsubscribe from Singapore’s highest circulation magazine) and got a good look at our new army fashion statement.

The rage about this new garb is the pixelated pattern effect, which makes it harder to spot the soldier in the forest.

Here’s the official spiel from the Gahmen:

After careful analysis of hundreds of images captured in various environments and light conditions, a team of scientists identified the most representative colour combination which would best cater to the SAF’s typical working requirements. This was further complemented by the use of pixelised patterns which generate a kind of "blurring" visual effect. In-depth research by DSTA revealed that these tiny pixels break up solid lines and shapes, making it more difficult for the eye to recognise them. – Pioneer, 31 Jul 2008.

All fine and good, even technologically-savvy, except for one thing.

The colour sucks. Big time.

Take a look at the official PR picture on the left and tell me it doesn’t look like the poor NS guy just got NERFed with a pile of lizard guano after the reptile had too much chee cheong fun.

This is colour co-ordination at its worst. At least the old No. 4 (below) looked a bit stylish with its big splotches of green and brown, never mind if you could spot the soldier from a mile away.

Of course, the smartypants who designed or approved this uniform will tell you something like: “But this is the exact colour combination when soldiers go into the field and have to seamlessly merge with green leaves, tree bark and brown mud!”

Sigh, that’s why there is a army course called camouflage. Any good soldier who’s spent enough time in the field, already possesses a uniform that already looks well splattered and dusty enough to become Tropical Mud Theme. If you saw us during our Aussie missions, you’d think we were local aborigines with all the yellow dust in every pore and thread.

And I don’t see how this uniform can let people survive in urban warfare – Singapore is full of boring grey buildings…unless a greyish-tone version is made for FIBUA (Fighting in Built Up Areas) ops like the Americans have for their Desert Storm ops, expect a lot of soldiers to be easy pickings for snipers.

This is what happens when you fill the ranks with scholars and not enough soldiers. I’d hate to see what is the No. 3 edition of Guano Green. More groan-inducing visuals here.

4 Replies to “SAF goes Guano Green”

  1. Yo Mr Tan,

    I reckon you’re just….green with envy.

    As you are not a SAF scholar, you may not be able to see the wood for the trees : )

    You know what?

    You should just launch a special edition Guano Green Xbox 360 and give a special discount for NSmen in the next issue of Pioneer : )

    Yah, just call it a camouflaged offer.

    Batty idea worth dropping, I know, but it may just work right off the bat.

  2. Well I don’t like the new SAF uniform. It’s hideous and disgusting and the old uniform is so much better…

    But I’m glad they changed it as I’m done with my national service now and it’s the regular officers and specialists that have to wear it for a really long time. Since most of them are fucking assholes I’m really happy that they have to look stupid and ridiculous in the new uniform! It’s totally awesome! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

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