How to get married

You’d think that I would rant and rave about the upcoming 7 per cent GST today right? Well, hurrah for the Gahmen and their infinite wisdom! Surely we trust they know what they’re doing?

(pregnant pause while civil servants struggle to absorb the above line)……

But back to the usual heart-palpitating babbling on stuff that really matter to me….today’s topic is bound to piss off a few millionaire 40-year-old realtors who haven’t realised that having money, looks or grown kids can’t buy love.

Now, getting a life partner is something that everyone wonders about. I’m no expert, since I’ve cheerfully agreed to stick to having only one.

But here are some general principles I’ve discerned from observations over the years. It’s a working list, so don’t mind if I keep editing it.

1. Start looking in school

Usually the guys at work are married or gay. School offers the highest ratio of potential life mates. Unfortunately, people can change the minute they start earning money, so you may want to find one who is probably stuck in his/her ways.

Guys move very fast – the ones I know often marry the woman they were already with in uni. Girls on the other hand can’t make up their minds till they’re millionaires, old, or both.

2. Pubs should factor lowly.

Sure, you can find a mate in the pub. But were you seeing or hearing clearly then?

3. Don’t look at the workplace either

Some workplace marriages work, but you risk ending up with some pre-married guy or someone from a totally alien religion. 

As Pok once so succinctly put it: “Don’t shit in your own backyard”. If things don’t work out, you don’t want to work next to your ex right?

4. Mr/Ms Right doesn’t exist

Yes that’s right. Pretty girls are nothing but trouble (quote Dr Hook here). Less pretty people will keep insisting you look at their inner beauty (quote Gerri Halliwell here). And anyone too smart for you probably won’t want you anyway.  

But seriously, a family counselor I interviewed years ago told me : “Your Ms Not-So-Right will become more Right over the years as you absorb each other’s traits.”

5. Don’t let go of any potential mate

Statistically speaking, each person has a very very very low chance of meeting more than 5 suitable mates in their lifetime. That is why if you are already going out with someone you think you have a 51% chance of marrying, don’t fricking let go!

(to be continued if work doesn’t kill me)

4 Replies to “How to get married”

  1. Now u’ve made me more despondent than when i read abt the 40-year old realtor & her lack of suitors. I totally agree with most of your points…
    1) School
    2) Pubs – u might want to include hawker centre too… personal experience here
    3) Workplace – Amazingly, my bosses tell me my office has an amazing track record of marriages… including 1 reverse takeover.
    4) Mr Right – i’m starting to think all the tall Cantonese guys in SG belong to my family only… and i hvn’t even got to the part abt religion…
    5) Damn it! I’ve used up my 5 chances liao. *%(@&^

    Can u save some column space for me when i hit 40?

  2. Eh the “Links” is a general header for the rest of the links below lah. I took out the Cbox when redesigning the site recently but forgot to put it back, will do so later.

    Re marriage – have hope – at least you work in a job where you meet new people frequently. Imagine if you’re stuck in a desk job all day long and your best pal is your LCD screen. (No apologies to all affected people out there).

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