Obituaries

4 Replies

One thing that bugs me when I read newspaper reports or watch the telly news on dead people – People ALWAYS say really nice things about them.

“Oh, he was such a loving father.” “She always had a smile for everyone in the neighbourhood.” “I always thought he was nice to his family.”

Abarthen?!? Nobody ever tells you the complete truth about the person. Was he stingy to flag sellers? Was he a racist? Did he cheat in his studies and rise to the top wrangling office politics?

We say we should respect the dead, say only nice things about them. But a person’s worth is not measured only by the good things people can remember. Verbal obits make everyone dead sound like a saint.

If I die, I’d like my buddies who are still alive to give it as good as it gets : “Ian was full of crap, but at least he was funny. He had nothing really worthy to write on his blog but hey, better to have something than nothing right? And darn, he had really nice cameras to shoot the kids with.”

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  • http://www.road2psle.blogspot.com fuzzoo

    Hey you know I’ve noticed it too and wondered what would people say about me. I’d better do some explicit acts of “niceness” so people have something to say to the reporters just in case.

  • http://iantan.org Ian Tan

    Actually, even if you don’t do any explicit acts of kindness, your eulogy speakers will find something good to say.

    For eg, it is never too difficult to expound on: “She had a real zest for life. She was such a go-getter.” even if you spent half your life as a couch potato.

    Will eulogies bring up the rollercoaster ups and downs of a person’s life? Their trials, their failures, their tribulations and their triumphs? Do they dwell on the good things, forgetting to teach people the mistakes that the deceased made unwittingly?

    I believe we learn from the mistakes of others, not so much their successes. If people die without leaving behind a lesson worth learning, then that’s really a shame.

  • http://upt0wngal.blogspot.com UptownGal

    Hmm.. but if u’re a political figure, then people will say both the good and bad things… even if the bad things are shrouded in good light.

  • http://iantan.org Ian Tan

    That depends on whether you died being a popular figure or being shamed to death with various problems.