Dear Mr Robert Hargreaves, I encountered three of your Mr Men characters today.
I was taking the MRT when this well-dressed Chinese man came into the carriage. But he looked a little inspid and I was proven right in the next 2 seconds. He headed for the closed doors on the other side of the carriage and immediately launched into a huge sneeze.
The problem was he not only refused to cover his mouth, he made sure he lurched forward and expelled as much mucus as he could. “Haacheeeeoooooooow!”
The passengers were stunned and the two ladies near him immediately moved away.
Then he sneezed again, and sprayed the glass windows with more viscous liquid.
Passengers looked at each other, some smiling, some wincing. Then he came and sat down next to one lady, and she immediately vacated her seat. Thankfully, my stop came.
Little Miss Trouble
Actually, the more accurate title is Little Miss Hypocrite, but that’s too mature for the kids.
Me and LMH had a huge run-in two months ago over some matters. But today, I had no choice but to attend an event where I knew I would see her again. As expected, she comes up to me with a big fake plastic smile, “Hiiiiiiii, Happy New Year!” and goes on to tell everyone cheerfully how close we work together and how well we know each other.
Behind my poker smile, I wanted to punch her lights out.
And she keeps going on and on, “Oh, I’m hosting your table today! How nice isn’t it?”
She even gets me a drink, which may as well be poison ivy juice.
To cut the long story short, I turned my attention to other more decent people in the crowd and ignored her for the rest of the event. There’s nothing worse than being a two-faced piece of plastic.
Little Miss Bossy
The problem with many writers is that they assume they are THE authority on anything they know. How else can they write with such confidence on their pet subjects?
Anyway, I meet a Caucasian writer cum mother of three who gives me the evil eye when I tell her my kids sleep at 10 or 11pm.
“How can you do that? MY kids sleep at 730pm! It’s all about habits! Don’t you know that they need to sleep in order to grow? Sometimes they may sleep more in the afternoon, that’s when they have growth spurts…..(bla bla bla)”
Somehow, these women think we like the kids to sleep so late. The problem is, they just don’t like to sleep. And you shouldn’t assume your kids are going to be like everyone else.
Can your son before 3 years old recite A-Z and 1-29? Or say “Curry pok curry pok! One Dollar!”
Doubt it. These ang mohs obviously think the Chinese should follow their lifestyles completely.