There is this over-reliance on analysts to provide choice quotes in many news stories. I was miffed when I read today’s BBC online story that Coke was pulling Vanilla Coke out of the UK market. Coke didn’t say exactly why in the story, but here’s what the reporter wrote:
Analysts say the firm is trying to lure those turned off sugary soft drinks and looking for diet or health beverages.
“This means that Vanilla Coke has been doing badly and it is not working and not having the visibility that there is a decent chance that it will work longer term,” said Manny Goldman, a San Francisco-based beverage industry consultant.
The quote is obviously put there to represent what Coke wouldn’t say outright, but seriously, can the analyst have something more interesting to spout than the blatantly obvious?
What if I were an “industry analyst”?
Said Mr YH Tan, Singapore-based beverage taster with 29 years of saccharine experience : “Vanilla Coke is the bomb. It’s sweet, it’s sugary and it will kill your exercise regime with two sips. I love it, but I can understand why Coke wants to pull it out of a European market where people want more healthy drinks than your Pink Bandung-guzzling Asians. Over here, we don’t worry about getting fat because we work too hard to be drinking Coke all day long and then complaining about it.
“They’d better not pull Vanilla Coke out of Singapore or I’ll quit drinking Coke altogether. Or worse, I’ll drink Pepsi Twist which sometimes comes in a slightly larger value-added can.”